While I was working out this morning (not because I care what I look like but because my life is so great I want to enjoy it forever!) sportscenter was on and I saw on the ticker that Gilbert Arenas has been suspended for the season.
I had to stop running. Not out of shock but because I started laughing at the Dave Chappelle skit that would certainly be following this colossal lapse in judgement. Since Dave himself decided to deprive us of his comedic talents, I’ll do my best to recreate one of my favorite skits of his, and insert Gilbert into the starring role.
WHEN KEEPING IT REAL GOES WRONG:
Gilbert Arenas is playing cards with his teammates. Over a few games, he begins to run a pretty big debt with one of them. Javaris Crittenton, knowing that Gilbert makes a GIANT salary, begins to question his teammates’ lack of payment. It goes from jovial jokes to the point of threats.
At this point, Gilbert has a choice. He can; A) no matter the size of the debt, wait two weeks at the very most for one of his GIANT paychecks to arrive and thus be able to write Javaris a check and pay off the debt. OR B) He can “keep it real”
Gilbert chooses to “keep it real” by bringing not one, not two or three, but FOUR guns to the arena. During yet another argument Gilbert decides to pull one of his guns on Javaris. This is not only in violation of an NBA rule he has previously been suspended for, but also a CIVIL law that requires a gun to be legally licensed. This prompts Javaris to bring his OWN gun out, which results in a stand off “real gangsta” style.
Gilbert and Javaris have been suspended for the remainder of the season. This means that by “keeping it real” these two have forfeited the rest of this season’s salary, as well as the ability to practice and travel with the team. If money was tight for either of these two before, then it’s about to get tighter. The Wizards are considering voiding the rest of Gilbert’s $111 contract, which still has 4 years left. This means that in all, Gilbert may cost himself over $80 million in order to “keep it real.”
I keep it real
{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
Don’t forget his terminated shoe deal. Adidas pulled the plug a week ago.
I have a hard time seeing Crittenton or Arenas as “gangsters”, I think this David Stern trying to prove the NBA is safe enough to have a franchise in vegas still. Rather than confront the issue, Stern hands down indefinite suspensions, denies the situation until Vescey reports on it, and then hands down a punishment much more severe than is called for.
How does Arenas get a year long suspension, but Delonte West, who had two loaded handguns, a loaded shotgun and an 8-inch Bowie knife among other things and was ARRESTED by a police officer, gets his due process and is still playing? His trial is April 26th and he will more than likely plea guilty just like Crittenton and Arenas, think DWest wont be suiting up for the Cavs in the playoffs?
Where’s Greg Oden’s suspension for carrying around “the Oden”? As Jason Whitlock said earlier today:
“The Oden pictures raise doubts about the legitimacy of the motion-in-the-ocean theory and the sincerity of women who claim there can be “too much of a good thang.”
These guys were definitely keeping it real. There was zero selling out, hats off, bonafide gangsters! Real gangsters don’t do it for the money, they do it for the love of the Life. It’s sooo what’s up, we need more of this role modeling, i.e. no more selling out! If you got beef, and you are rich as all hell, skip-it, pull the p-shooters and finish it like Eastwood would do if he were acting in a film with a similar plot right? You know there would be gun play if Eastwood was playing Arenas in a film about poker games during half-time of NBA games.
That was an easy decision for Adidas.
Not sure about the details of Delonte’s situation. I will tell you this; he probably had the paperwork for the guns or he would be in a similar situation for possessing illegal firearms. A dui is not always a felony (meaning he didn’t break a MAJOR NBA rule). He didn’t bring all those toys into an NBA arena and point them at a teammate. Oden’s situation is a completely different ball game. He sent pics to a girl, she leaked them. That’s his fault, no harm no foul. But can I ask you why you and Jason Whitlock looked?